You wanted to go to Vegas
and decided we will, next year, some time in June.
"I need an adult vacation," you say.
And me? I would like that too.
Maybe Vermont, or New York.
But I guess once your mind is set on your interests
that's all it takes.
I won't get lost in you...
but you might lose me in your plan.
And yes, I stand by it--
thanks for the talk.
--ar
Monday, April 29, 2019
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Surge of Motivation
It will take a while.
It will take a while to get back where we want to be. There will be some days that are better than others.
It will take a while to feel the things you want to feel--the feelings you miss.
Your brain is so scattered. You're so exhausted of masking.
265 days until 2020.
Happiness: 6
Loneliness: 2
Self-esteem: 8
Self-confidence: 10
It will take a while to get back where we want to be. There will be some days that are better than others.
It will take a while to feel the things you want to feel--the feelings you miss.
Your brain is so scattered. You're so exhausted of masking.
265 days until 2020.
Happiness: 6
Loneliness: 2
Self-esteem: 8
Self-confidence: 10
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Dear Angelyn
Dear Angelyn,
You're writing to yourself while you sit on a bed you share with a man 11 years your senior. His dog is by your side, and it's a Tuesday night at 9:44 p.m. You've asked him to give you some time to finish up a couple things after you expressed that you want to get some things in your life together.
His answer? He's making jokes about Guatalupe because that's what the episode of Unsolved Mysteries is about.
I think you miss the emotional depth you had at the time you were constantly writing--constantly feeling. I think it'd be good for you to write again because you also need someone to talk to. You know you're limited in the things you can divulge and you've unfortunately still got no friends who can fully understand your life.
You're mostly alone, mostly. Like I said, you're sitting on a bed in a room (a bachelor apartment, really) with your boyfriend and the dog, and yet you're the only one who wants to give yourself undivided attention.
You know what the hardest part about that is? You know that this is the way you prefer things. You've never had to be put under the microscope in the way you need. You don't even allow your mind to go there.
I hope we get to go there.
266 days until 2020.
Happiness: 4
Loneliness: 5
Self-esteem: 4
Self-confidence: 4
You're writing to yourself while you sit on a bed you share with a man 11 years your senior. His dog is by your side, and it's a Tuesday night at 9:44 p.m. You've asked him to give you some time to finish up a couple things after you expressed that you want to get some things in your life together.
His answer? He's making jokes about Guatalupe because that's what the episode of Unsolved Mysteries is about.
I think you miss the emotional depth you had at the time you were constantly writing--constantly feeling. I think it'd be good for you to write again because you also need someone to talk to. You know you're limited in the things you can divulge and you've unfortunately still got no friends who can fully understand your life.
You're mostly alone, mostly. Like I said, you're sitting on a bed in a room (a bachelor apartment, really) with your boyfriend and the dog, and yet you're the only one who wants to give yourself undivided attention.
You know what the hardest part about that is? You know that this is the way you prefer things. You've never had to be put under the microscope in the way you need. You don't even allow your mind to go there.
I hope we get to go there.
266 days until 2020.
Happiness: 4
Loneliness: 5
Self-esteem: 4
Self-confidence: 4
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