Dear Angelyn

Dear Angelyn,

You're writing to yourself while you sit on a bed you share with a man 11 years your senior. His dog is by your side, and it's a Tuesday night at 9:44 p.m. You've asked him to give you some time to finish up a couple things after you expressed that you want to get some things in your life together.

His answer? He's making jokes about Guatalupe because that's what the episode of Unsolved Mysteries is about.

I think you miss the emotional depth you had at the time you were constantly writing--constantly feeling. I think it'd be good for you to write again because you also need someone to talk to. You know you're limited in the things you can divulge and you've unfortunately still got no friends who can fully understand your life.

You're mostly alone, mostly. Like I said, you're sitting on a bed in a room (a bachelor apartment, really) with your boyfriend and the dog, and yet you're the only one who wants to give yourself undivided attention.

You know what the hardest part about that is? You know that this is the way you prefer things. You've never had to be put under the microscope in the way you need. You don't even allow your mind to go there.

I hope we get to go there.

266 days until 2020.
Happiness: 4
Loneliness: 5
Self-esteem: 4
Self-confidence: 4