Just

I have taken advantage of you.
And misused you 
to the greatest degree.
Because it was not 'just' a kiss,
nor did he simply 'just' love me.
It will take more than 'just' time,
I know that we cannot 'just' be.
And there is pain
hidden in the patience of
"you 'just' wait and see".

— ar

When I Wake Up like I Did This Morning

I've wondered if I have depression,
but it turns out I am lazy.
I simply get unmotivated,
and want someone to save me.

I wish I had an excuse
to have the bad days that I do.
I have plenty more
than I should have, I think.
And I know you'd think so, too.

I've wondered if I have depression,
but I often am just tired.
Now I wonder if it's motivation
or depression
that I desire.

— ar

Your Own

You are crowding your mind
with lies you've created.
You are doubting my love
which was true, but has faded.
You have shut yourself in,
and have made your own darkness.

How could I be to blame?
Why would I ever start this?

You try to move forward,
but keep looking back.
So you've swerved and you've crashed
and you've strayed from your track.
You want to feel better
but yourself you've convinced
That my words were in vain,
that I've cut and I've minced
all the thoughts you have shared,
your broke pieces and secrets.
"This can't be necessary."
But I need this,
I need this.

You don't see the light,
refuse future's glory.
Believe, please, believe
we weren't a good story.
You're in your own darkness,
I know,
I have mine.
It is dark,
but not black;
We're not totally blind.

Don't shut yourself up.
Don't shut yourself in.
I know you,
I know you,
I know who you've been.
I know who you'll be,
I know that you're strong.
I know that you'll do
what we've done all along.

We will be,
we will live,
we will gain back our sight.
You're in your own darkness,
But you hold your own light.

— ar

Rain

It is raining outside.
And I recall that 
we liked the rain,
together.
But now,
I wish it was sunny.
And that's okay.
Because I liked the sun
more than the rain
before I met you, anyway.

— ar

Fantasy

traced the outline of his face
with walking fingertips.

she looked into his smiling eyes

then took his yearning lips.

aggressive, passionate,

yielding too,

she paused to whisper,
"I love you."

she laid her head down on his chest,

his craving satisfied.
breathed in and out,
chest up and down,
he looked at her, and sighed.

she kissed his chin.
he closed his eyes,
his face she took
to cup.
"My darling man,
we cannot be,
and it's time for you
to wake up."

— ar

But She

He was quiet
And so was his mind.

He was not present.

But she was speaking,
she was joking,
she was laughing.
She was not different.
It must have been difficult.

But not for her.

And she thinks that
Should say a lot
To him.

— ar